What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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