I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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