Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
