hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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