so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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