at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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