Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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