Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize