If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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