How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
