Where is the hickey?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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