he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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