Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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