My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
