I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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