cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
