would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize