walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
