so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was confusing and full of hummus
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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