I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
