yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize