So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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