Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
