Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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