I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
