last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
