he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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