Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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