Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
