So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize