Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
