I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
