do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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