Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
