Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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