I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
