Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
