Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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