those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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