i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
