I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
