I'm eating all of the evidence.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
