First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
