Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize