I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
