She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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