I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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