I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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