i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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