Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
