Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My balls are so social today.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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