Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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