we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
