Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
