You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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