god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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