I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
