don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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