Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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