Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
