from now on my penis is your penis
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
