You can't special order awesome
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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