So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
